A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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