I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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