We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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