just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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