we have officially lost it.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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