im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
