We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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