I think my fart just growled at me.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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