I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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