There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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