okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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