Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm like, not good at living.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
