If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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