dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
