I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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