This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
we made out on top of his cat.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
