you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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