her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
