I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
