She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"