who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree