O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place