Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?