Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
