this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
