Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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