i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
