that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
