I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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