Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
