i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
