just come out here and I will go home with you...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
