think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
