8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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