Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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