i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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