I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
