I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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