So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
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