you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
