TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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