you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
