I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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