it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize