all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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