dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
