Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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