being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
