I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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