Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
