Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
