Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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