nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
