On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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