i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.