The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry