this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.