i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Randomize
