But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
