What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
