She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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