its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
