OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
