We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
