Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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